Lloth, Dark Elf Vampire, is going to give this a go...

It's taken a while to update, because I was pretty enthralled with this vampire business. So in using my Dark Elf, whom happens to be a vampire, I realize a few things:

 1. These Dawnguard shits are stupid as fuck. I got the vampire eyes, shitheads. You should kill me on sight.
2. A few of these quests are the same for either side. More on that, later.
3. Serana has some serious parental issues.
4. I WILL MURDER THE SUN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 Standing in Fort Dawnguard is kind of interesting. My words are saying "Sure, I'll help you kill vampires" and my eyes are saying "I will drink your blood as soon as you sleep." But hey, free crossbow. The point at which the stories split are in the castle, when you're like "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES, MAKE ME A VAMPIRE LORD."

 I awaken in a room where Harkon is staring at me in a way that makes me wonder if I just got bit, or gang raped. I am thinking gang rape couldn't be half bad if I was at least passed out for it. I mean these are vampires, and it is a video game so the psychological damage is minimal. Harkon goes through explaining some of how being a vampire lord works... yeah yeah yeah, I just wanna go kill some people in this new, BAD ASS form.