I WILL SUCK OUT YOUR SOUL!

Have I mentioned that being a Vampire Lord gives you the ability to suck the life force out of people, thereby killing them and replenishing yours? BAD ASSERY

There's an entire hierarchy of Vampire perks and a new skill tree for them all, which I will try to detail in a later post.

But right out of the gate, if you are "hovering" you get a spell that drains life, and on your right hand, one to reanimate dead bodies. When you are not hovering, your attacks are melee and your fierce vampire claws apparently rip flesh with the best werewolf...

So the castle has plenty of amenities... a dungeon full of people to randomly dine on, vampires munching on people chained to tables who moan when you talk to them, and pretty pretty puppies! Aw who's a good hellhound? You want a treat? You want a femur from this unfortunate alchemist? Good Boy!

Luckily there's enchanting tables and alchemy labs around for my intents and purposes. And a blacksmith area. I take to refining that crossbow and enchanting it with fire damage. Harkon of course can't leave me to my own devices: he wants me to...
Fill. This. Cup.
With red water.
From a Skooma den.
Fuck. Ok. SOunds easy enough. Now there's probably many ways to try this. I tried talking calmly, then I got rushed, and surprisingly, I died in the process. So when I reloaded... I went stealth on their asses. And I robbed each one of those criminals and drug addicts blind. Then I snuck up on the two traitor vampires who were going to interfere with Harkon's plan to attempt to gain control of the Vampire Lord Kingdom. Shit, these fuckers have a lot of political bullshit. Is this Vampire Election year?
Thank you trusty crossbow that I just improved and enchanted. Those backstabbing fucks didn't stand a chance with me sneaking up on them.
Meanwhile Lydia got bored and stopped waiting for me wherever I had left her. Good riddance. Because after I take back this cup, Serana is going to come travelling with me. Sweet. Super vampire team! And we are going to go find an elder scroll! From...
Fuck. Her mom. We're looking for mommy.

And every time I sneak she likes to creep in the sides of the screen.
Well we have to sneak out in the garden and see what we might find out there. Apparently it was her mom's favorite place before she disappeared and Serana's parents started hating each other's fucking guts.
We observe the sundial is amiss, and start to putting it back together again. Voila! It becomes a staircase, going into the castle ruins. There's much to fight with, skeletons, a feral vampire, gargoyles. We meander through everything, fighting our way there, and come to her mother's secret lab. Oooo secret lab! There's lots of alchemical ingredients here and... a journal.
So what could it contain?

Lloth, Dark Elf Vampire, is going to give this a go...

It's taken a while to update, because I was pretty enthralled with this vampire business. So in using my Dark Elf, whom happens to be a vampire, I realize a few things:

 1. These Dawnguard shits are stupid as fuck. I got the vampire eyes, shitheads. You should kill me on sight.
2. A few of these quests are the same for either side. More on that, later.
3. Serana has some serious parental issues.
4. I WILL MURDER THE SUN! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

 Standing in Fort Dawnguard is kind of interesting. My words are saying "Sure, I'll help you kill vampires" and my eyes are saying "I will drink your blood as soon as you sleep." But hey, free crossbow. The point at which the stories split are in the castle, when you're like "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES, MAKE ME A VAMPIRE LORD."

 I awaken in a room where Harkon is staring at me in a way that makes me wonder if I just got bit, or gang raped. I am thinking gang rape couldn't be half bad if I was at least passed out for it. I mean these are vampires, and it is a video game so the psychological damage is minimal. Harkon goes through explaining some of how being a vampire lord works... yeah yeah yeah, I just wanna go kill some people in this new, BAD ASS form.

Great, just wait 'til the fines start rolling in...

Kharjo, we gotta clean up this mess before someone gets pissed.

"You are taking us somewhere warm I trust? Also, you are right about the bones. Very white trashy. Falkreathians will not be pleased."

Does anyone offer bone removal in the Skyrim Yellow Pages?