Bandits? No problem.

Kharjo and I run excitedly into Bilegulch mine. Wait. Bilegulch? I am thinking of a gulch full of bile. Interesting. We arrive at the opening to Bilegulch. Kharjo helpfully tells me we have found a cave, but doubts there are warm fires and friendly faces inside. Once entering he tells me something smells foul. Sounds like kitty thinks we have some enemies.

As usual I try to get sneak attack points, and Kharjo runs in there, ebony armor clanking, whipping warhammers around. Kitty, we need to discuss your tactics. The bandits are probably easier than any I've dealt with lately. This is a cake walk. No extremely good loot or anything (At level 45, my loot expectations are pretty high, I'm just a stuck up snobbery bitch who thumbs her nose at Dwarven greatswords that are NOT enchanted. Pshaw)

It was almost too easy. Hell its a mine full of orichalcum, so that's not too bad, maybe I'll make some orcish armor for the kids I will probably end up adopting some day. Kharjo and I take our unremarkable haul back to Falkreath, where the Jarl's steward informs us there are no houses for sale in town, but there is a plot of land available. Fuck yeah, motherfuckers. We gonna build a hizzouse.

Meanwhile Ive noticed a little bit of talk of the Dawnguard when we were in Riften. These fuckers in Falkreath don't talk about anything else, except for the random guard commenting about stolen sweetrolls or complaining about an arrow to the knee. Most of these guards want to join up and hunt vampires. Pretty much everyone has the same opinion on the Vigilantes of Stendarr: They fucked up. Big time. Turns out those fucknuts thought they could just take on whatever immortal creature they could, got in over their heads, and we might be facing eternal darkness for it. ETERNAL. DARKNESS. Which for my level 21 Dark Elf Vampire would be ideal... but we're playing my level 45 Breton, and she's been pretty decent to people, and enjoys the sun-kissed look of her skin when she goes off adventuring or stands too close to a flame cloak.

I take my happy ass up past Pinewatch and find this plot of land. If Kharjo had the AI ability, he would probably ask me, "hey what about all that Dawnguard Vampire nonsense?" But he doesn't and the inner Farmvillian in me takes over, squeals with delight, and wonders "WHAT DO I DO?!"

Hmmm. A table with the Syrim equivalent of blueprints on it... a workbench, a chest. A book on how to build your house... This may be easier than I thought.